Expert advice: Signs your child may be being bullied, and what to do about it

With students across the UK returning to school this week, heading back to the classroom can be a source of anxiety or stress for many children, especially if they are suffering from bullying.

Finding out your child is being bullied is a distressing experience, and it can often be difficult for parents to determine the best course of action to help solve the issue.

Here, the team at education training experts, High Speed Training, share some tell-tale signs that parents should look out for to tell if their child is being bullied, and the best course of action to stop the bullying taking place.

Dr Richard Anderson, Head of Learning & Development at High Speed Training, said:  “There are several signs that could indicate that your child is being bullied at school. It’s important to note that whilst these can often be signs of bullying, there may be other explanations, so it’s best to avoid jumping to conclusions until you have the full picture. Children are often reluctant to raise the issue with adults as well, fearing that the situation may get worse if they tell someone.”

Some signs that a child may be getting bullied include:

Physical signs, such as unexplained cuts or bruises

Changes in behaviour, such as isolation, withdrawal or change in eating habits.

Change in academic performance, or reluctance to attend school

Personal items or property going missing

Online signs, such as inappropriate or offensive messages

How to address bullying with your child

Dr Anderson said: “If you’ve discovered that your child is being bullied, it’s important to respond calmly and be supportive. Finding out your child is in distress will likely make you feel angry and protective, but it’s important not to act rashly in a way that could make the situation worse.

Discuss the facts

Dr Anderson continues: “Let them talk through their experiences and how they’re feeling without interrupting or prompting them. You may have your own thoughts or suspicions about what’s happening, but it’s important to stay neutral for now to allow your child to tell their version of events and try to establish some key facts about who’s involved and what has occurred.

Support and reassure them

“The most important thing to do is to offer reassurance and support. They’ll likely be feeling a range of emotions, and may blame themselves or feel shame for what they’re going through.

Discourage retaliation

“Some children may feel angry about their experiences or feel that they do not have control over their situation, and may want to retaliate against the bully, or even against someone else. It’s important to strongly discourage this, and instead, discuss non violent solutions that can help your child.”

Control your own emotions

 “It’s also important to remember to keep your own emotions in check, and not let them dictate your actions. Storming off to confront the bully or their parents, or kicking up a fuss in school might be the last thing your child wants, and could even make the situation worse. This will also likely put your child off from wanting to discuss this or similar issues with you in future.”

Raise the issue with the school

Dr Anderson said: “Once you’ve spoken to your child, and discussed how to proceed, you may want to raise the issue with people at school to address it. Make an appointment with the school, and work with them to solve the problem. Remain calm and confident, and avoid blaming the staff at the school. Make sure you have all the information you need, and a clear idea of what you and your child want to happen next.

“You should also continue to monitor the situation going forward in case things don’t improve, by documenting any instances of bullying and raising them as soon as possible with the school. If you find that things don’t improve, or not enough has been done by the school to address the issue, you may want to consider following the school’s complaints procedure. If things still don’t improve, consider writing to Ofsted.”

You can find more information about where to find help and support from the Anti Bullying Alliance here: https://anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/tools-information/advice-and-support/if-youre-being-bullied/find-help-and-support

For more information, visit High Speed Training and view their child safeguarding courses.